Slowly, Surely, Someday, It Won't Matter Anymore. What Does, Will Be There To Stay. What Doesn't They'll Eventually Be Gone.

Great E-Learning Weeeek, Though There's Tons Of Work To Be Done, That Doesn't Mean One Can't Have Fun. I've Done Much And Accomplished Much This Week. 

Was Roped In To Do This Government Statistics Project Related To ECPI (Expatriate Consumer Price Index) And We're Supposed To Collect Data. And There's A Hell Lot Of Data To Collect In My Category! Few Thousand Boxes Of Information To Be Filled In. And I Haven't Even Filled In 50. But There's Much To Learn From I Guess, So I'll Just Try My Best And Hope I Can Gain As Much As Possible.

And Bowling On Friday With Hammy And Sharmmy. And Are You Hungryyyyy? Because I Got A Turkey. For The Forth Time In My Entire Life! HAHAA! And It's The First Time I Got It In The Last Box. What Luck. Should Buy 4D (Just Kidding. I Don't Gamble) And We Also Caught Catching Fire. >Free Coaching On How To Catch Fire Using Bare Hands< HAHA! Anyway It's A Great Movie. But The Ending Makes Me Really Wanna Watch Part 3.

And Of Course The Other Days Were Mostly Used To Mug And Chiong My E-Learning Assignments. Except For Sunday As Well! Guess What!? Conquered 1336 Steps, 73 Stories And 226 Meters. What A Great Day, A Great Feeling To Be At The Top Of Singapore. My First 'Marathon' Accomplished. HAHAA! Here Are Some Really Good Pictures We Took At The Top With Too Much Swag.

 With Filter!

And Afternoon Was Great Time Spent With My Cuzzies At Teo Heng KTV Studio. Woooo I Love Singing. Best Way To Express Your Feelings And Feel Good About It. Considered Quite Cheap If Going In Big Groups Because I Think It's Like $12 Per Hour (Max 10 Pax) For The Room.

And That Kinda Sums Up My Week. Just 2 More Weeks To Common Test. But It's Just 2 Papers And 1 Is Open Book (BStats). Hope I Can Do Well This Time, Because Final Exams Ain't Gonna Be Easy To Scoreee.

And I've Decided More Or Less. 90% I'm Gonna Take Part In 2XU Compression Full Marathon Next Year. My First Official Marathon! Shall Start Training My Stamina And Speed Back These Holidays (Though They're Just 3 Weeks). It's Quite Depressing To See My Stamina Free Falling, But All It Takes To Train Them Back, Is Motivation. I'm Gonna Make It. I Will. Without Walking. 42.195Km. You're The Next On The List! (:

感情的事没有人能预料

但是关于跑步的事

只要靠自己不断的努力

只要不断地往前冲

总有一天你会到终点

I Really Can't Seem To Understand. How Everything Could Be So One Sided. Someone Somewhere Is Trying So Hard. But On The Other Side, Someone Just Doesn't Care At All.

Things Are Really Getting Better. At Least I No Longer Get Sleepless Nights. Each Day It Gets Better. (:

But There's Still So Much I Can't Possibly Understand. And Maybe I Won't Ever.

Have You Ever Tried Clapping With One Hand? That's What I Actually Tried To Do In The Past. It's A Super Duper Stupid Thing To Do. And It's Really Tiring. You're Just Making A Fool Of Yourself In The End, When You Try So Hard But Really, Sometimes People Just Can't Be Bothered. It's Literally Giving Yourself A Slap In The Face And Telling Yourself You Did The Wrong Thing. I'm No Longer Gonna Be Such A Fool. Not Worth It At All.

You Told Me So Much About Yourself, Yet You Are Still As Mysterious To Me As Ever. I Don't Even Know Which Words Of Yours I Can Take Seriously. And I Really Can't Fathom At All What You're Thinking. All The Walls So High. Only You Know Yourself. It's Your Choice In The End. After All I Don't Think I'm The One That Will Be Staying. You Choose Who To Stay After All.

该结束了

我还有什么好考虑的

As The Day Goes By, I Thought It Was Getting Better. I Thought It Really Was. But It Feels Like I'm Back To Square One.

Shitty Feeling All Back At Once. I Really Don't Know How I Should Describe It. So Much Anger, So Much Disappointment, So Much Fear, So Much Stress, So Much Of Everything Mixed Together. And You Get Shit. Like Really. I Can't Find A Better Word To Describe It. The Words In The Dictionary Suddenly Feels So Limited. 

Insomnia. Takes Me Hours To Fall Asleep For The Past Weeks. Before I Fall Asleep I Can't Stop Thinking. My Mind Never Sleeps. Feels Like It Doesn't Need A Rest At All. Maybe I'm A Robot, Not A Human.

Playing Songs And Songs Over Again. And Even These Songs Are Becoming More And More Foreign To Me. The Lyrics That Once Used To Make Sense No Longer Does. I'm Changing. Very Fast. But I Really Don't Know The Outcome. I Just Hope I Change Into Someone Better.

It's All Getting Worst. And I Can't Even Explain It. It Feel So Much Better But All Of A Sudden.. I Find Myself Plunging Into The Deepest Depths. I Guess Everything Was Just An Illusion.

I Keep Hoping Things Will Change. But I Will No Longer Expect. Maybe I'm The One That Should Change. I Really Am.

人是会变的

但是变的理由

有实在太多可能性

你就是

其中一个

Maybe What I Thought You Were, Was Just An Illusion. Maybe I Couldn't See It Any Clearer.

也许是我没看清。我根本不了解你，所以做的判断全是一堆垃圾。现在发现错了会太迟吗？我能收回来吗？明知道自己什么也不是，我为何要厚着脸皮，不走呢？为何要等你开始给借口，才发现自己是如此的悲哀。都是你的借口。说一声对不起，事情就罢了。好容易，但是我又要怎么接受呢？算了。不重要，我也不能做什么不是吗？反正你最不缺的就是朋友。

现在，我该如何是好？花费许久准备给你惊喜的我，应该把一切扔掉吗？好想这么做，但我也许不会更好过。我想这惊喜会是你一生永远无法忘记的，可惜你会不会看到，已经不在我的掌握之中。我唯一能做的就是继续等下去，不然我该直接放弃。

I Think Eating Seems To Be The Only Logical Thing I Am Doing Right Now. And Maybe Running. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore. They No Longer Will.

告诉自己

爱情算什么

只要能吃好吃的

其他的还重要吗

They Always Say ' Don't Let Others Affect You'. And I Always Fail To Do So.

Found Back My Purpose In Life. Running. Whether It's Running On Ground Or Running Up Steps. I Need Running More Than I Think I Do. Running Feels Like Crying To Me. It's Like A Replacement. It Let's All My Emotions Out. And It Is Also What Makes Me Strong. Because With Running, I've Achieved Alot That I'm Really Proud Off. It's My Strength, And My Weakness At The Same Time.

And So I've Decided. To Keep My Mind Busy. To Make Myself Feel Better Without You. I SHOULD Sign Up For Next Year's 2XU Compression Full Marathon! 42.195 Km. Might Sound Really Difficult For Me Since The Longest I've Covered Is Half That Only, But I Think I Have All The Motivation I Need. Motivation Makes Success Really Alot Easier Than One Actually Thinks.

But Motivation Somehow Feels Like My Psychological Self Is Waging A War On My Physical Self. My Mind Keeps Asking Me To Push On, And My Physical Body Is Really Pushed To It's Limits. So No Matter Who Wins, I Feel Kinda Damaged Both Internally And Externally.. HAHAHAA!

希望这是最后一次

我可能

让别人动摇我的心

我

受够了

Maybe In This Life I'm Not Meant To Love. I'm Here For Other Purposes.

Today is Halloween. And For The First Time In My Life, I'm Wearing A Mask On Halloween. Don't Usually Celebrate It And I Won't Call Today A Celebration Either, But Putting On A Mask And Going Around To Scare People, Or To Entertain People, To Make People Smile. Maybe That's My Life.

I'm Not Meant To Love Maybe. Everything Seems To Be Going Against Me. I'm Tired. Should Give Myself A Break, So Maybe I Shall Stop Going Against It. I'll Follow The Flow, Where I'm Supposed To Belong Eventually.

So Many Thinking Going On. Made Me Realise Alot. How Ridiculous I Was. How Stupid My Thinking Can Get. How Impossible Everything Is. And Why Do I Still Give Myself Hope Right? From The Start I Know It, Yet Why I Still Hope Things Will Change. Everything Is Stupid. I'm Stupid. But Maybe For One Last Time, I Won't Be Putting My Stupidity To Waste, If All Those Effort Makes An Impact. But I Will Stop Hoping. Not Gonna Expect Anything.

What Is Love? Something That Will Never Blossom? Something That I'm Imagining? Something That Doesn't Exist? I Don't Know.

I Give Up. Slowly I Will.

因为我已经累了

所以我渐渐开始放手了

到最后也许是只能离别了

Sometimes You Wish You Can Just Toss Everything Aside. Or Just Do Something To Get Your Mind Busy.

Yep. Don't Matter. Doesn't Matter. Never Mattered At All. I Think Maybe It's Time I Start To Think About Things And Focus Down On My Studies. Road To 4.0 GPA Won't Be Easy And It'll Be Impossible At The Rate I'm Going. I Need To Start Putting Down. And Let This Be My Motivation To Work Hard.

Put Down Everything. Not Gonna Plan Already. I'm Stuck Here What's The Point Of Planning. Why Did I Even Bother. Spend Countless Hours Doing Everything Just For That One Day That Ain't Gonna Happen Till I Don't Know When. Probably Won't Happen. Am I Starting To Get Tired? Put Up With Everything, No Wonder My Shoulders Feel So Heavy. Guess The Time Has Come To Let Go. Never Mattered At All I Would Say. So My Decision Will Only Affect Myself. 

If I Can't, If I Fail, Then I Will Just Stop Thinking About It. Channel All My Energy Onto Studies Maybe It'll Be Better Instead Of Torturing Myself Here. Not Gonna Explain Anything. No One Will Understand Anyway. Shall Leave It As It Is.

不懂你本来就是这样的，还是你变了。我还以为没看错人，也许这点我真的错了。也有可能是我变了，我们都变了。有些东西一但错过了，就失去了。

已经到了结尾

我还不把伸出的手收回来

就会受到内伤

永远无法恢复