Bottled Everything For So Long. Disappointment. Sadness. Stress. Anger. Negativity. It's Just Pure Darkness Inside Me. I Got No Idea How. Maybe I'm Used To It. Not Showing Anything. I Don't Even Know What Is Happiness Anymore And I Barely Have Time To Do Any Volunteering Which Makes Me Truly Happy. Donating Is Like The Norm, Doesn't Brighten Up My Day Like It Used To Anymore. It's More Of A Habit.
I Like To Be Dependable. But What I Just Don't Understand About Some People Is How They Can Just Laze Their Ass Off And Always Depend On Others When You're Not Even Helping Yourself. It's Not Like You Are Handicap. And It's Not Like You Are My Girlfriend Or My Best Friend Or A Close Friend. Cause Even The Friends I Have Listed, They Give And Take. It's Mutual. You Take Too, Well. Take Advantage Of People.
It's True. I'm Nice. I Don't Show When I'm Unhappy. I Don't Want To Create Trouble. I Don't Say And That Is The Reason Why I Keep Hurting Myself. If I Say And Peer Evaluate You Down, I'll Hurt Myself Too Cause I'll Feel Bad That You Are Probably Gonna Fail That Module. So, What Am I Even Supposed To Do?
So Many Many Stuff Happening Right Now All I Know Is That Not Doing Anything Or Doing Something, I Still Feel Like Shit.
And To Be Really Honest, All I Feel Like Doing Right Now, Is To Self Destruct. Yes. SELF DESTRUCT. Instead Of Just Melting Away Slowly Day By Day. I Wish I Could. I Wish There's A Button Right Now That Does Just That.
*Press*
*Booooooooom*
我想要学会
自我催眠
痛觉会少一些
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