Thursday, July 4, 2013

So Hidden. And Here Is Where I Can Spill It All Out..

Today Is So Not My Day. It Just Made Me Reflect Even Deeper.

The Feeling Of Being Left Out Just Got Worst By The Days. Yep Everyone Has Their Own Cliques, And I Can't Seem To Fit In Anywhere. I'm A Complicated Piece Of Jigsaw That Cannot Be Fixed Into The Puzzle. I Don't Know. It Just Seems To Be Because Of The Things I Do Or Don't Do. Maybe That's Why. Just Feel Extra Everywhere I Go. Having Friends Is One Thing. I Have Many Of Them. But Being Able To Blend In With Them Is Another Thing.

Dinner Today With FOCAS People Was Great. Get To See Everyone. HAHAA! Able To Chit-Chat Within The Group Before Everyone.. Splitted Into Their Self Created Groups. And Yep. I Realised I Don't Fit Into Anywhere. The Feeling Of Being Extra. Kinda Awkward. So Not Used. Made Me Realised How Much I Missed Life In Sec School. Love All My Awesome Friends. Didn't Have As Many Friends, But The Friends I Had Was Enough, Because They Are The Friends Whom I Really Needed In My Life. 

And The The Best Reason I Can Probably Come Up With. Interest. I Don't Do Too Many Things. I Don't Blog Shop, I Don't Dress Up, I Don't Gym, I Don't Smoke, I Don't Club. I Don't Fit In. And When I Don't, I Just Become A Quiet Person. Been So Quiet These Days. I Don't Feel Like Talking, And Then End Up Being Ignored. It's Just Not My Conversation. Maybe I'm Not Trying, Or I'm Just Trying Too Hard Without Realising Because I Really Can't See Myself Actually Trying.

And The Worst Thing. My Parents Don't Even Understand Me. Seems Like I Can't Join iDare Camp This Time. All They Say Is I Keep Joining Camps And Never Focus On Studies And When I Told Them Camps Are During Holidays, They Say I Never Contribute To The House Etc. They Just Don't Want Me To Join Because What They Say Ain't True. I Contribute During Holidays, But Not Now Because It's School Term. And When I Don't Do Well, You All Nag At Me. This Just Doesn't Make Any Sense. Not Anymore. I'm Too Tired To Argue. Too Shag. And Maybe It Just Isn't Your Day Too, So I Don't Want To Blow Things Up. Maybe It's Better I Don't Go. Maybe. I Really Hope So...

Alone. I Really Feel Like Throwing Everything Into The Bin.

好累好累
我也很希望
自己能开始习惯
孤独的生活
可惜不知要等到
何时何时

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