I've Never Regretted My Decision To This Extend Before. This Is The First Time, And I Hope It'll Be The Last.

I Really Don't Know Where To Start With. Tired. Tired Of Everything. And This Is The Place Where I Can Get To Pour Out My Feelings Only Without Attracting Attention. And Anyway, There's No Point Showing It To Other People. No One Will Care. I Just Have To Get Used To It, Or Maybe I Never Will. But This Is My Life. And My Life Sucks.

Tired Of Waking Up Early Like Almost Every Single Day. But That's Physically Tired. I Still Can Tank. Actually I'm Quite Used To It, But It Really Affects My Mood Every Morning And Maybe My Concentration In Tutorials Or Lecture. But That Aside.

I Really Want To Convince Myself I Didn't Went Into The Wrong Course. The Wrong Place. I Don't Know. It's So Stressed In My Course. So Many Projects And Work And There's So Many Things To Crammed Into My Tiny Head During Each Lecture. I Wish I Was A Robot And Can Have Hard Disk Installed Into My Head. HAHAA! 

I Can't Seem To Get Along With People. Not Everyone, But Most People. And As Time Passes By, People Should Grow Closer, But That's Not True All The Time. People Grow Closer, But I Grow Further And Further. I'm Invisible. Almost. Been So Quiet This Days That Even I'm Really Scared Of Myself. Never Been This Low. What's Inside Is So Dark I Can't Even See. Faking All That Smile ( If I Do ) Or Acting As If Nothing's Wrong. Yes. That's So Like Me. HAHAA! 

The Worst Part Of Me That Most People Will See Is That When I Can't Seem To Fit In, I Can Become Like Really Super Super Quiet And Invisible And Then Suddenly Ninja And Disappear. HAHAA! But The Best Part Of Me, I Don't Want To Say. Only My Really Close Friends Know, That's How And Why We Become Really Close. 

The Worst Thing. I Can't Seem To Fit Myself Into My Class. I See Them Almost Everyday. But Me And My Class As A Whole, Just Don't Go Together. They Are A Nice And Awesome Bunch Of People. It's My Problem. Because Most Of Them Are Really Bonded Together And Can Go Crazy And Do Crazy Stuffs. And Nope. I Do Crazy Stuffs, But Just Can't Seem To Do It With Them. I Feel Very Extra. Every Photo Taking That Has To Include Me Into That Picture As A Whole, Is Really So Painful. But I Really Don't Know How To Reject. And It's Not Because Of The Interest Problem Only. Actually I Can't Really Explain Why. Maybe I'm A Burden. Maybe I Really Don't Like To Talk In A Big Group. Their Bond Will Only Get Stronger By The Day. And I'm Truely Happy For Them. Yep Indeed. TF21 Is The Most Bonded Class, If You Put Me Outta The Picture. Extra.

It's Okay For Me. I Need To Get Used To It. Loneliness. WHAT'S THAT MAN!? I'm Gonna Eat It Up. I Really Hope I Can Just Concentrate On My Studies Only. But I'm Lazy.. So.. HAHAA! I Would've Dropped Out Of This Course If My Parents Allowed. Too Many Reasons For Me To Do So. But If I Do So, My Parents Will KILL MEEEE! So Cannot. Need To Endure For Another 2 Years. JIAYOU TY!!! CAN ONE! (:

Jogging Is No Longer Useful. It Doesn't Help Me Like How It Used To Anymore. This Had Reached A Whole New Level. I Need A Larger Dose To Numb Myself. But I Haven't Thought Of Anything I Could Do To Actually Throw Out Everything That Is Kept Inside.

我需要的不是同情

是真正的友情

能陪我哭笑

陪我度过喜怒哀乐