Why? Why? WHY!??

I Don't See My Efforts Being Paid Off! After So Much Of Tough And Hard Training, What Do I Get? Leg Cramps? Really Disappointed With Myself At The Heats Today... I Often Wonder If I'm Really Good At Running And Today I Finally Got The Answer...And It Is : I Suck Totally At Running!!! It's Not About Sec 3 Challenging With Sec 4 Or Sec 5...We Are Of The Same Division... It Isn't Fair But If I'm A Fast Runner I Could Win All Of Them Too...But It Proves That I'm Slow And The Reason Might Be Because I Did Not Warm-Up Enough At The Start And Sprint During The 400m Which Resulted To Tight Muscles And Cramps..But Still I Lost..I Can't Deny The Fact...

I Think I Was A Shadow Of Myself Last Year... I Think I Ran Slower Than Last Year... Although Tuesday Ran 2.4km Might Have An Improved Timing Of 9.26 mins, But It Doesn't Show Anything When It Comes To The Heats...The 800m Has Always Been My Strongest Event..But I Fail To Excel...So DISAPPOINTING! ): I've Always Been Best At 800m Since Primary 4 And I Have Won In Sec 1 And Sec 2...What About Sec 3? Nothing..I Don't Think I'll Win Anything This Year..I Even Got Sports Boy Award Last Year? Who Would Believe That When I Never Win A Single Event This Year.... I Think It's Time I Take A Rest And Think Where Did I Go Wrong In Training Myself...

I Might Need A Coach Although... I Thought Coaching Myself Is The Best Because I Know Myself The Best But It's Not True...I Notice I Can't See My Weaknesses... I've Actually Thought About It Somehow... I Should Take A Rest From My Training After My Cross-Country And NAFA This May And Start Trying Out new And Better Workouts To Increase My Speed And Stamina... 

This Year Might Be A Disappointing Year For Me..I'm Losing Confidence In Myself But I'm Even More Determined To Win Next Year... I Have Not Lose Hope Because I Still Believe Running Is What I'm Really Good At...Just That Today's Performance I Might Be Abit Off Form..Today Is So Not My Day!!!

Trust Me! I'll Be Back Next Year In Top Form For The Heats! I'm Believe My Determination Will Prevail! I Won't Say I'll Get First For All The Events I'll Be Running But I'm Sure Next Year I'll Be Back On The Track At The Fastest Possible Timing...Cya Next Year!

Anyways Tomorrow Is The School Anniversary! I'm So Looking Forward To The Opening Of The ISH ( Indoor Sports Hall ) :D 

也许我应该放弃，

因为我感觉我没有资格爱你

连我的最强项也令我失望

实在是无法面对你和我自己