Note: Him/His/He References Used Are In General.
Credits: www.wordle.net
1) The Popular
Don't Be Disappointed When You Don't Get To Interact Much With 'The Popular' When You're With Him. Do Understand That Many Are Seeking His Attention.. You Should Be Expecting Him To Pick Up Calls Or Text People 60% Of The Time And He Will Bump Into Someone He Know 30% Of The Time. Well, Be Glad That You Still Have The 10%. And If You Are A Credit Card Or Insurance Sales Person, That'll Be Simply Perfect! Just Imagine How Much More $$ You Can Make With His Connections!
2) The Noise Polluter
We All Have That Friend Who Sings Randomly And Out Of Nowhere. It Can Be Extremely Annoying Especially If That Friend In Particular Has A Horrible Singing Voice. Bringing A Masking Tape Along Wherever You Go Can Really Comes Into Handy. Otherwise, You Could Have Some Fun As Well By Bringing Along Tonnes Of Marshmallows. Every Time He Starts Singing, Just Stuff A Marshmallow Into His Mouth. If He Continues, Then Stuff Another. Play Chubby Bunny! Yayyyy! Don't Worry, The Marshmallows Can Also Be Used To Stuff Your Ears If He's Still Making Those Horrible Noises. Problem Solved! (:
3) The Vulgar (With Singlish)
One Of A Kind When It Comes To Communicating. The First Thing People Usually Say When They See Each Other Is 'Hi' Or (What')'Sup' But 'The Vulgar'? 'F*** You Lah!' He Will Try To Add Words Into Sentences To Make Them Sound More 'Interesting'. So 'Where Are We Going?' Will Sound Like 'Where The F*** Are we Going?' His Following Replies Would Be Something Like 'Wah! C*** B** So F****** Expensive!' Or 'K** N* N*! Always F****** Eat The Same Thing!' Notice If You Take Out The Bold Words, They Have The Same Meaning Too? I Definitely Suggest You Bring A Taser Along With You. Every Time He Gets Too Aggressive With Words, Just Zap Him! Have Fun!
4) The Mugger
Feeling Stress Because Of The Amount Of Workload You Currently Have At Hand? Fret Not, Because 'The Mugger' Is Here To Add On To Your Stress. Yes, ADD ON. Wherever The Mugger Goes, You Can Be Assured That He Will Be Carrying A Book/Notes Along With Him. Even When He Is About To Head To The Toilet, He Refuses To Let You Hold On To It For A Minute. Let's All Face It: If You Go Out With 'The Mugger', You Are Not Expecting To Have Some Fun Time Are You? Done Revising For One Chapter And Feel Like Taking A Break Or Just Calling It A Day? Look At The Mugger And You Will See That He Is Capable Of Sitting On The Same Chair For 10 Hours Straight And Finish Revising For Every Single Topic And Writing 91239612736 Pages Of Notes. This Is When You'll Just Feel Like Picking Up A Knife And Stab Yourself Because That's So Much Easier.
5) The Inert/Lazy
It Can Be Rather Tedious When Hanging Out With 'The Inert' But It Would Definitely Be A Good Workout Experience And Gym Replacement Session. 'The Inert' Simply Doesn't Want To Shift His A**. Dragging Him Along Is The Only Way To Get Him To Move. What Makes Him Really Unique Is That He Will Tell You The Most Ridiculous Things You Have Ever Heard In Your Life. 'Bro, Can Help Me To Buy Shirt? Help Me To Test The Size. If You See It's Fitting, Just Buy' So, I Might As Well Just Wear The Shirt For You. Or Maybe You Shouldn't Even Bother To Put On Clothes If You're That L.A.Z.Y. Go And Be Some Underwear Model!
6) The Mysterious
'The Mysterious' Is Known For Wearing His Mask Wherever He Goes. No One Really Knows His Intentions Of Doing So And What Exactly Is He Hiding. You Have Been Warned Not To Get Too Close To Him Or You Will Come To Regret It. Or Maybe Not. The Mystery Will Come To Light When You Catch What He Is Carrying. A Cold. Taking An MC And Getting A Day Off To Rest At Home Sounds Like A Great Plan! Wheeee!
7) The Blood-Sucker
Tagging Along With You Has All Along Been Part Of His Plan. The Plan Was Easy Enough. He Eats, You Pay. He Buys, You Pay. Well You See, Anything He Does, You Pay For It, As Good As A Mosquito Sucking Your Blood Dry. There Is However One Thing That I Am More Than Willing And Happy To Pay. My Respects. If He DIES!!! MUHAHAHAA! But Anyway, Sharing Is A Really Good Thing To Do And You Can Be Assured He Will Always Give You Something In Return As Well. A Hole In Your Pocket. Enough Said.
8) The Backstabber/Two-Faced
Definitely The Best Type Of Friend One Could Possibly Have. If He Goes Around Telling Your Friends What An Awful Person You Are And After Hearing All That Bullshit Your Friends Still Stand By You, This Is When You Know You've Made True Friends. Friends Who Trust You For The Person They Believe You Really Are. Be Thankful. And Do Understand That The Reason People Have Two Faces Is Because One Isn't Enough. Isn't Enough For You To Slap.
9) The Pig
Are You The One Who Is Always Wasting Food? Fret Not, Because 'The Pig' Is Here To Aid You And The Rest Of The World In A Battle Against Food Wastage. Countless Tonnes Of Food Are Wasted Every Year And We Should At Least Be Thankful Because People In Other Parts Of The World Could Be Starving. Morale Of The Story Here: Don't Make Fun Of Obese People And Trust Me, I Have No Intentions Of Making Fun. 'The Pig' Just Sounds Really Cuteee! (: It Is Also Definitely Possible To Consume High Intake Of Calories Every Meal And Still Stay Slim And Healthy. Just Exercise Regularly And Eat A Variety Of Fruits And Vegetables.
10) The Magician
Don't Be Mistaken. There Are Two Types Of Magicians And The One I'm Referring To Isn't The One Who Does Fancy Tricks To Trick And Impress. Well, The Other Type Does 'Impress' Too! Basically What He Does Is: Tell You That He Will Turn Up For An Outing And Then He Just Goes Missing. Like Totally Missing. Message? No Replies. Call? No Answers. He Just Goes M.I.S.S.I.N.G. We Shouldn't Rule Out The Fact That His Phone Could Have Well Dropped Into The Toilet Bowl Or Dropped Into A Bowl Of Soup. But He Goes Missing For Days, Weeks, Months. Absolutely No Reply Of What Happened, No Explanation And No Sorry. It's As If Nothing Happened. Definitely The Best Magic I've Ever Seen! Can Someone Tell Me How To Not Be Impressed? (:
BONUS:
The Same Boat
Having Friends Who Feel Like They Are On The Same Boat As Us Isn't Uncommon. However, When It Comes To: You Jump, I Jump. If You Ever Jump, I'll Say Bye Bye To You, Because Who The Hell In The Right Mind Would Do That? I Mean It's Possible. You Jump Off 100 Stories And I'll Jump Here, Right On The Spot. You Jump, I Jump.
The Selfie Master
Taking 'Professional' Selfies These Days Requires Delicate Skills And The Right Equipment. The Selfie Stick Must Have Been Invented By A Genius. Who Would Have Thought Of Attaching Your Phone At The End Of A Stick To Take Photos Of Yourself. Even A Blind/Handicapped Man Can Do So With His Walking Stick And Look Good! Simply Genius.
Of Course There Are Many Other Types Of Friends And It's Impossible To List Everything Down, Nevertheless, It's Still Possible To Appreciate Them For Who They Really Are. Be Thankful That You Are Not Alone Because I'm Sure Someone Out There Is.
No comments:
Post a Comment