Maybe In This Life I'm Not Meant To Love. I'm Here For Other Purposes.

Today is Halloween. And For The First Time In My Life, I'm Wearing A Mask On Halloween. Don't Usually Celebrate It And I Won't Call Today A Celebration Either, But Putting On A Mask And Going Around To Scare People, Or To Entertain People, To Make People Smile. Maybe That's My Life.

I'm Not Meant To Love Maybe. Everything Seems To Be Going Against Me. I'm Tired. Should Give Myself A Break, So Maybe I Shall Stop Going Against It. I'll Follow The Flow, Where I'm Supposed To Belong Eventually.

So Many Thinking Going On. Made Me Realise Alot. How Ridiculous I Was. How Stupid My Thinking Can Get. How Impossible Everything Is. And Why Do I Still Give Myself Hope Right? From The Start I Know It, Yet Why I Still Hope Things Will Change. Everything Is Stupid. I'm Stupid. But Maybe For One Last Time, I Won't Be Putting My Stupidity To Waste, If All Those Effort Makes An Impact. But I Will Stop Hoping. Not Gonna Expect Anything.

What Is Love? Something That Will Never Blossom? Something That I'm Imagining? Something That Doesn't Exist? I Don't Know.

I Give Up. Slowly I Will.

因为我已经累了

所以我渐渐开始放手了

到最后也许是只能离别了

Sometimes You Wish You Can Just Toss Everything Aside. Or Just Do Something To Get Your Mind Busy.

Yep. Don't Matter. Doesn't Matter. Never Mattered At All. I Think Maybe It's Time I Start To Think About Things And Focus Down On My Studies. Road To 4.0 GPA Won't Be Easy And It'll Be Impossible At The Rate I'm Going. I Need To Start Putting Down. And Let This Be My Motivation To Work Hard.

Put Down Everything. Not Gonna Plan Already. I'm Stuck Here What's The Point Of Planning. Why Did I Even Bother. Spend Countless Hours Doing Everything Just For That One Day That Ain't Gonna Happen Till I Don't Know When. Probably Won't Happen. Am I Starting To Get Tired? Put Up With Everything, No Wonder My Shoulders Feel So Heavy. Guess The Time Has Come To Let Go. Never Mattered At All I Would Say. So My Decision Will Only Affect Myself. 

If I Can't, If I Fail, Then I Will Just Stop Thinking About It. Channel All My Energy Onto Studies Maybe It'll Be Better Instead Of Torturing Myself Here. Not Gonna Explain Anything. No One Will Understand Anyway. Shall Leave It As It Is.

不懂你本来就是这样的，还是你变了。我还以为没看错人，也许这点我真的错了。也有可能是我变了，我们都变了。有些东西一但错过了，就失去了。

已经到了结尾

我还不把伸出的手收回来

就会受到内伤

永远无法恢复

Nobody Is Perfect. I Am A Nobody, But Just Too Bad, I'm Not Perfect.

School Starts Finally After Almost 2 Months Of Relaxing. Really So Damn Not Used To It. But Maybe Studying, Mugging, That's The Only Thing That Keeps My Mind Busy. And I Really Don't Want To Lose Out To All Those Smart Asses In My Class.

But Everytime. Everytime. I Never Fail To Think About You. I Don't Know Why. Can't Explain Why I'm So Attracted To You. You're So Special. But I Guess You Just Don't Know It. Problem Is I Have To Get Myself Out Of This. But Everytime I Try, I Fall Deeper. Such A Hopeless Situation. Just Got To Stop Thinking About It.

Can't Wait For The Next Holidays To Come Though It's Just The 2nd Day of School! HAHAA!

如果你不放下

我只能耐心地等着

不知该如何是好

One Of The Best Moments In Life, Is Recalling The Sweetest And Most Innocent Memories That Are Etched Deeply In Our Heart.

Today Has Been A Great Day. Thank To My Bro Which I Haven't Seen For A Long Time! Late Night Dinner / Virgin Experience At Xin Wang HK Cafe. The HK Baked Pork Chop Cream Sauce Spaghetti Was Really Delicious. The Best I've Eaten Surprisingly. And After Which We Went To Play Pool For A Short While. Had A Really Good Game. And Finally Lepaking At Hougang 1 KPT, Before Taking A Slow Walk Home.

Love Walking Alone At Night! Really Calms Me Down Alot And Makes Me Reflect On The Things Happening Around Me. Keeps Me Thinking.

What A Realistic, Harsh And Cruel World This Is. Really Hate This World. Why Is Everybody Like This? This System Feels So Screwed Up. Makes Me Feel So Pathetic. I Am Forever Empathising With The Weak, And That Probably Makes Me Weak Too. I Feel Really Weak. My Emotions Take Control Of Me Too Easily. My Eyes Are Forever Playing Tricks. Maybe I Wish Life Wasn't Like That.

Hate Myself. My Character. I Don't Want To Be Some Nice Guy. I Don't Want To Be Generous. I Want To Be Calculative. I Want To Be Realistic. I Want To Be A Guy Who Doesn't Consider Others Feelings. Who Just Do What He Likes, What He Feels Like Doing. I Don't Want To Lose Out. All This. But You Know Maybe I Can Try Really Hard Becoming All This, But All This Ain't Part Of Me, Ain't Myself. Makes Me No Longer Unique. I'll Probably Feel More Frustrated Then I Already Am Now. I Can't Change Myself And Maybe, I Can't Change Others As Well... 

And I Really Don't Know Where I'm Heading. From A Stranger To Someone I Can't Stop Thinking About. Feels Like I'm Fighting A War With Myself. One Side Of Me Says 'Go For It' (The Weaker Side) While The Other Says 'No Chance. Don't Even Try'. Well, Hope I Can Just Put Everything Aside.

你说你害怕曾经受过的伤

过去发生的情节让你迷惘

害怕重演在你身上

 怯步让你失去了方向

You Can't Always Have What You Want. But You Should Be Able To Always Get What You Need.

This Week Has Been A Really Great Week So Far! But..

Monday : Mahjonggg!!! And Dinner At 满庭香!

Tuesday : Had No Plans.

Wednesday : Watched 2 Guns With My Bros And Had Dory Baked Rice @ Pastamania And Mocha Snow Ice @ Dessert Story. 

Thursday : Bowling With My Bros. Months Since I Had Such A Great Score Of Above 120 In Both Games. After Which, Visited Magic Castle To Get My Bicycle Decks And Had Dinner @ Ajisen Ramen!

Friday (Today) : Had Dinner At Tunglok Teahouse With My Family. The Food Was Really Great, Although It Was Rather Pricey. But My Dad Bought Groupon Vouchers And So The Final Cost That Had To Be Forked Out Wasn't Too High, Making The Food Really Worthy.

But.. It's Just 2 More Weeks Before School Re-Opens. I Better Enjoy All I Want This 2 Weeks And Prepare To Mug My Ass Off When School Starts (Hopefully I Will).

如果没有拥有

就没有失去

那为何我还会伤心

I Know I'm Waiting. Waiting. Waiting Until Finally One Day, My Heart Actually Falls Asleep Eventually.

Bad Sore Throat For One Week Already. My Voice Sounds Weird Totally. 

But Still, Mahjong Session Yesterday (Tuesday). First Round I Actually Lost, But Second Round I Actually Won By Quite Alot. I Guess It's All About Luck. HAHAA! And Today, Finally Played Pool Since Sometime. Still Not Too Bad. (:

你给我的就是一种说不出的感觉。但这让我实在是非常昏乱，非常苦恼。也许我应该慢慢等，等红灯变绿灯，等你心动的那一刻。也许永远都不会，但我知道我会愿意等。

只要你願意 

繼續信仰愛情 

就證明不在一起 

也能一起前進

Not Too Disappointing. After All, You Reap What You Sow.

Wednesday Was Singing Session With Bros.

Fell Sick on That Night.

Thursday Was Rest Day.

So Was Friday.

I'm Okay Now.

Or At Least I Hope.

Got My GPA Results Today. Didn't Do Quite Well. But Wasn't Too Disappointing Because As Usual, I Knew I Didn't Put In My Best. 3 Seems To Be A Really Lucky, Or Rather Unlucky Number. Cause My Score Was A 3.3333. And This Score Won't Get Me Anywhere. 

I Know There Are People Out There Who Are Worst Off, But If I'm Aiming For University, I Really Got To Tighten My Seat Belt, Step Up The Pace. I Need At Least A 3.8 To Be Able To Secure A Place And I Seem To Be Really Far Off. And It Really Seems Like First Year Is The Best Year To Do Well. And I've Already Screwed Up My First Semester. Damn It.

Results Aside. As Usual, When I'm Doing Nothing, I Start To Think Of Stuffs And Listen To Music And Music Makes Me Think Even Deeper And I Will Always Lose Myself. But Well, Time To Share Some Random Stuffs On My Mind. Just What I Feel, With No Particular Meaning.

So Love In A R/S Seems To Be A Need To Most Couples. But After Breakups, This Need Becomes A Want. But I Guess Most People Just Don't Realise It. Because You Think You Need It Now, But Actually Without It, You Can Still Live On. You Want It, But Without It You Won't Die. But What Most People Don't Realise Is That The Love You Really Need During The Period After Breakups, Is Usually Given My Friends And Family Members Who Really Cares. They Are The Ones Who Were There When You Pulled Through This Harsh Period Of Time. So Yeap, Cherish Each And Every Friend And Family Member. (:

And Damn. I Saw This Somewhere And It Was Quite Accurate.Considering That I'm A Gemini-Taurus Cusp. HAHAA! Just For Fun. Yellow = True. Purple = Untrue. Blue = Sometimes True. Red = I Don't Know.

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 

我愿意当你的篮板球

当你的暂时的男朋友

只要你需要我陪你过

不怕别人怎么看怎么说我

我愿意当你的篮板球

当你的暂时的男朋友

不让你有一秒钟寂寞

我要填满你的现在不排除 今后

原来写诗和离别

可以没有结尾

哭久了会累

也只是别人的以为